Forever waiting...

So, I've decided to start this blog so that anyone who wishes to remain "in the know" as far as my daily life is concerned may follow this to see what I'm doing. 

To start with, this has been the most emotionally exhausting, frustrating, agonizing process I have ever experienced in my life....but I am beyond excited about everything I am about to experience.  I think the agonizing part of it has been the waiting for something unknown.  In the past months I've analyzed my own life and behavior, sifted through all of my possessions (giving away, selling, or throwing away many), and attempted to mentally prepare myself for.....something for which there is no proper preparation! 

And so here I am, less than a month away from my entrance date, and I feel trapped in between worlds.  On the one hand I am so ready to enter the monastery and begin living that lifestyle, but I am still living at my apartment and still living the lifestyle to which I am currently accustomed.  It's very difficult...I feel as though my heart has moved on and the rest of me is left behind.  I guess this is a very good example of why it is "community" life and not individuals.  I can't possibly live the way I am planning, without the support of the community. 

Sometimes I feel as though the waiting is pointless, but I guess in many ways I am growing and learning as I am waiting.  In the meantime I will try to live each day fully and enjoy what and who I have, while I still have it.  Good things come to those who wait....we shall see :)